DNGAE (Did Not Go As Expected) - Issue 1 - Glee
by hotstuff1708
Summary: Kurt dreams of fantastic, mind-blowing sex. Dreams and reality are COMPLETELY different. 2 years ahead of Season 2, so all characters are at least 18. Slight OOC with Blaine and Burt, but apart from that characters mainly seem in character. Oneshot.


Kurt smiled as he lit the rose scented candles and emptied the packet of rose petals out onto his bed.

He could not wait for Blaine to arrive. Tonight he was finally going to have sex. The excitement coursing through his blood and the anxiety flooding through his mind; he was feeling slightly overwhelmed.

"This is going to be perfect," Kurt thought to himself happily, putting his 'Romance' playlist on and setting his iPod up in its base as the calm music began to echo through the room.

Turning to the lights he thanked Gaga that he had bought that dimmer switch. He turned the lights down to a sensual low, but the room was still light enough for visibility. The candles were flickering in the mid-darkness, adding only tiny pinpoints of light to the room. This changed quickly as the room filled with what seemed like blinding light in contrast to the atmospheric lighting that was there moments ago.

"What's all this?" Burt asked, pulling his hand away from the switch.

Kurt looked fearfully at him. "Dad... Dad I-" Burt interrupted him abruptly.

"Stop, Kurt." He sighed. "I knew this day would come. I make sure to prepare just in case you don't." Burt hesitantly pulled a condom out of his jeans pocket. "Bought it on the eighth, so its only a few days old. Should be fine."

Kurt pulled his dad into a hug then shooed him out of his room and continued to create atmosphere. He turned the lights back down and continued to make his way around the room.

He began to recite lines from things he'd read online about sex. "The pleasure washed over me like water,"

"The lust of the moment drove me crazy,"

Kurt smiled. "This is gonna be so amazing," He said to himself, adding the final touches like adjusting the pillows on the bed. Suddenly, the music stopped.

"What are you doing, Kurt?" Finn said, pulling his hand away from the base.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Having sex tonight. Care to watch?" He said, lacing his voice thickly with sarcasm. Finn got the message.

"Okay then. Well I'll see ya later dude. Good luck." He shuffled back upstairs and out of the room, leaving Kurt to turn the music back on.

Within seconds of Finn closing the door, a knock sounded.

Kurt yelled up, "Come in!" and Mercedes slid inside.

"Mercedes? What are you doing here?" Kurt asked, confused and slightly annoyed.

"Wasn't tonight our movie night?"

"_Next_ Saturday."

"Oh. Hey what's all this for?" She said as she looked around the room. "Oh my God... you and Blaine are-"

Kurt nodded with a simple "Mhm."

Mercedes grimaced. "I am _so_ sorry,"

She walked back up the stairs and turned to him before leaving. "Good luck Kurt, it's gonna be really painful though - trust me."

Kurt's face fell. Who said _anything_ about pain?

"Kurt, I'm here!" Blaine's voice yelled from above as the front door slammed.

Kurt could hear Burt giving Blaine 'the talk' and he really wanted to just run up, grab Blaine and drag him back to his room. Then lock his door.

The plan would be easier if his door had a lock.

Kurt quickly stripped down to his black lace thong and lay in the bed in a seductive pose. His smooth, slender body rested amongst the rose petals for half an hour before sliding his dressing-gown on and walking up.

"Blaine, what's taking you so-"

Blaine and Burt leapt from the couch yelling in excitement as the football team on the TV scored.

Kurt was hurt by this - Mercedes was sure right about that. Kurt marched up to the couch and grabbed Blaine's arm.

"Hey Blaine," Kurt said, putting on a fake smile.

"Oh hey, Kurt." He replied, smiling back.

"You do know I've been waiting downstairs for _HALF an HOUR _now, don't you?"

"Oh crap I totally forgot," He replied, frowning.

Burt slid in close to Blaine and whispered, "It's recording. I'll send you it on disk. Go fuck my son."

Blaine happily nodded and followed Kurt to his room.

Blaine took off his clothes, grabbed the condom and slid it onto his 8 inch cock, stroking it slowly over the condom.

"I'll be right back." Kurt said, sliding into the bathroom.

"I can barely see," Blaine muttered to himself, turning the lights to normal.

"I can't hear myself think," He muttered to himself, turning off the music.

"Ow! I nearly burned myself." He again muttered, blowing out all the candles.

"Woah, these are in the way," He said to himself again, brushing all the rose petals from the bed onto the floor and under the bed.

He then sat on Kurt's bed with a hard-on covered in a blue, slippery condom.

Kurt opened the door and came out in his black thong. "Hey Blaine... What the-?" He looked around, seeing all his romantic antics were missing. "What happened to the-"

Blaine grabbed him and pushed him into the bed. "Hey Kurt," He said, roughly mashing his face against his.

Kurt was surprised that he didn't break his nose. "Blaine, I-"

Blaine began to force his thick head inside Kurt's hole, causing him to squeal in pain. "Oww, wait..."

Blaine had no intention of waiting. They'd waited for 2 and a half years, sex was _now._

Blaine slammed in to the hilt with a powerful thrust, causing Kurt to cry out, and not in the good way.

Blaine forced himself in and out fast, panting like a dog. His sweaty muscular frame and thick, strong arms held onto Kurt as he slammed into him over and over.

Kurt was slowly getting used to it, but it was nothing like the things he'd read. This was just... _painful._ He wanted it to end soon.

"Fuck, this hurts!" Kurt wanted to scream out, but his mouth defied his brain.

Blaine then sent terror into Kurt's little heart. "The condom broke. And I'm cumming!"

Blaine blasted before Kurt had really registered that. Kurt's dick had finally woken up and Blaine just rolled over and went to sleep.

Kurt sat up, frowning. "That was awful." He said to himself as Blaine snored beside him. His ass hurt and was leaking cum onto his nice sheets.

This totally **did not go as expected**.


End file.
